"But don't tell papa!"

Do your children come to you even if they have an accident or if they have failed? Then I can congratulate you warmly! The situation is different with the two following case studies:

Fair weather family

A harmonious family. The children are well brought up, learn well at school, and the way they talk to one another is polite and well-groomed. The parents are proud of their offspring. Family happiness as everyone dreams of. But when the 14-year-old son smashed a precious flower vase with the soccer ball in his friend's house, he was desperate. He thinks frantically how he can repair the damage and begs the housewife for one thing in particular: "Don't tell papa!"

It is nice when children begin to take responsibility for what they do. However, if you notice that your child does not dare to admit their misfortunes to you, then please consider whether your upbringing is not a little "too good" after all. Are performance and prestige requirements too emphasized? How do you deal with failure and failure? Is the child afraid of punishment? Perhaps your son or daughter's fears are unfounded. In any case, clarification is needed now. It is important that your child can come to you with anything!

The crisis shows whether your child has confidence

Encourage it: “Especially when something goes wrong, I want you to talk to me about it. This is how I can tell if you trust me. I am happy that everything goes so well most of the time. But that doesn't mean that I only welcome "fair-weather children". After all, we parents are also responsible for breakdowns. " You can then calmly discuss the situation.

Otherwise you may fare like the father of that young man who, himself a successful businessman, gave his secretary the following instructions over the phone: “I forgot my briefcase. Please send me a messenger. But make sure that my father doesn't notice anything about it! "  Is it the kind of respect you want? Distant courtesy instead of trust? Then it could happen that your child is left alone in crucial situations and you are confronted with surprising facts when it is perhaps already too late.

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