When parents don't honor one another

Parents should respect and complement one another, even if they have different approaches. The children also benefit from this.

The Mayer family has three grown sons who do not want to grow up. They live a happy student life and are not getting on well. When asked about the success of their studies, they evade: that is none of their parents' business. But they make demands - in the Hotel Mama.

When it comes to helping together, nobody feels responsible.

Diversity can be an asset

The mother is understanding, caring and soft, the father efficient, matter-of-fact and strict. In itself a good complement if you respect each other and find the common line. But that's where it fails. When the father holds the sons accountable, the mother protects and appeases them. Instead of appreciating one another, parents criticize and undermine one another.

The mother made educational work a monopoly and played down some things and kept them secret. He gave up and turned away: "Then do it!" - in order not to save criticism, however. If he takes up the floor once, she speaks into it. No wonder their relationship is in turmoil.

Children between two chairs

Everyone loses in this game: the mother is responsible for everything and is overwhelmed and does not reap thanks from the sons. They perceive them as helpless and weak. Your pious speeches are not taken seriously.

The father is not honored and feels sidelined. The sons lack discipline and stamina - not good prerequisites for a start in life. Slowly they realize that they are behind the others on the career path. That gnaws at one's self-confidence.

Common line instead of rivalry

Parents need to listen, take seriously, and support one another. They can certainly contribute in their otherness: It is OK that the mother is maternal soft and the father is strict with the father - provided they accept and complement each other. In this way, children also naturally learn to respect and respect their parents. The diversity of caregivers is an enrichment for children if it does not degenerate into rivalry. Parental conflicts have to be dealt with fairly and with respect, some things better in private.

Parent education and counseling can help to discuss different points of view and to find a common line. It may be a chore, but the result is blessing for the whole family.

One more thing: no individual and no family is perfect. It is therefore essential to hold out your hand in reconciliation and to dare to start over again and again. Relationships thrive on this daily, lively exchange.

Maria Neuberger-Schmidt

When it comes to helping together, nobody feels responsible.

Diversity can be an asset

The mother is understanding, caring and soft, the father efficient, matter-of-fact and strict. In itself a good complement if you respect each other and find the common line. But that's where it fails. When the father holds the sons accountable, the mother protects and appeases them. Instead of appreciating one another, parents criticize and undermine one another.

The mother made educational work a monopoly and played down some things and kept them secret. He gave up and turned away: "Then do it!" - in order not to save criticism, however. If he takes up the floor once, she speaks into it. No wonder their relationship is in turmoil.

Children between two chairs

Everyone loses in this game: the mother is responsible for everything and is overwhelmed and does not reap thanks from the sons. They perceive them as helpless and weak. Your pious speeches are not taken seriously.

The father is not honored and feels sidelined. The sons lack discipline and stamina - not good prerequisites for a start in life. Slowly they realize that they are behind the others on the career path. That gnaws at one's self-confidence.

Common line instead of rivalry

Parents need to listen, take seriously, and support one another. They can certainly contribute in their otherness: It is OK that the mother is maternal soft and the father is strict with the father - provided they accept and complement each other. In this way, children also naturally learn to respect and respect their parents. The diversity of caregivers is an enrichment for children if it does not degenerate into rivalry. Parental conflicts have to be dealt with fairly and with respect, some things better in private.

Parent education and counseling can help to discuss different points of view and to find a common line. It may be a chore, but the result is blessing for the whole family.

One more thing: no individual and no family is perfect. It is therefore essential to hold out your hand in reconciliation and to dare to start over again and again. Relationships thrive on this daily, lively exchange.

Maria Neuberger-Schmidt

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