The blue hair - part 1

The blue hair - part 1

The mother steps into the room to wish her 14-year-old son Patrick good night. “Mom, can I dye my hair blue?” The mother is surprised and feels taken by surprise: “Are you crazy? Out of the question at all! ”Another person may let her son's persuasive skills tempt her into a hasty consent, which she later regrets.

Adolescent children are excellent tacticians and know very well about their parents' weak points and how they can “get” promises from them. It is also not always easy to be as quick-witted as she is. Beware of rash replies if you are shocked, surprised, or just unsure.

It's OK if you show your dismay

“I beg your pardon ?!”, “Oh!” Or why not the shock formula used above - just to get some air first. If you are of the opinion that there is no more time for a detailed discussion, and you do not accept the surprise tactic, then say that too: "I feel taken by surprise now." The "ball-back" method can now help you: “Why didn't you bring up this topic earlier when we were sitting comfortably in the living room? I don't want to make a hasty decision. Please explain to me tomorrow afternoon what you like about it. "

Give yourself time to think about it

In the meantime, think about how you personally feel about blue hair or the like and how much freedom of choice you give your son. You have the opportunity to reconsider your position on this issue and what room for maneuver you can give. Also, think about what arguments your son might come up with and how you will respond to them. You should ask yourself the following questions: What is your upbringing situation like overall? Is your son reliable and capable of making a compact? Is it part of his “little finger to whole hand” strategy? Are there any more serious questions than his hair color? If it leads into a power struggle, how important is it to win it? Do you have the nerve for it? How much more influence can you have? Who will support you in this?

Mag. Maria Neuberger-Schmidt

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